Bigyatbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy human.

Bigyatbarn created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Bigyatbarn, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bigyatbarn, she will turn you into a snail.

Bigyatbarn's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bigyatbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Hide if seven birds approach from the north.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.