Gidcenzan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish troll.

Gidcenzan created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidcenzan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gidcenzan, she will turn you into a dog.

Gidcenzan's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gidcenzan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never paint your chest indigo.