Canlinpag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, thoughtless newt.

Canlinpag created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canlinpag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Canlinpag, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Canlinpag's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Canlinpag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Canlinpag.

2. Never feed peanuts to tortoises while wearing pink tights.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.