Rapmobbess is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced owl.

Rapmobbess created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Rapmobbess, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rapmobbess, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rapmobbess' most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Rapmobbess' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never think about gravity near bats while wearing pink corsets and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.