Donzenbog is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonourable octopus.

Donzenbog created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donzenbog, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Donzenbog, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Donzenbog's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Donzenbog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Donzenbog on top of important buildings.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Donzenbog loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must pray to Donzenbog six times a day.