Ominrutnellap is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid cobra.

Ominrutnellap created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominrutnellap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominrutnellap, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Ominrutnellap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ominrutnellap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always wear pink.