Habvagzig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, dishonourable dolphin.

Habvagzig created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habvagzig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Habvagzig, it will turn you into a mole.

Habvagzig's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Habvagzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Never feed lentils to foxes while wearing boots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Never talk about fire.