Wikzimlopnurt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witty sheep.

Wikzimlopnurt created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Wikzimlopnurt, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wikzimlopnurt, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wikzimlopnurt's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wikzimlopnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Hide if three pigs approach from the north.

4. Always help sick cats.

5. Wikzimlopnurt loves ducks, so they must be respected.