Hamtagbim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, overgenerous mink.

Hamtagbim created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamtagbim, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hamtagbim, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hamtagbim's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hamtagbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Do not keep nine foxes in a large pit.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. Do not covet oxen.