Fonzanhun is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody toad.

Fonzanhun created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonzanhun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fonzanhun, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fonzanhun's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fonzanhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away from turquoise gulls, for they are unholy.