Jonkikquart is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome mole.

Jonkikquart created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonkikquart, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jonkikquart, she will laugh at you.

Jonkikquart's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jonkikquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.