Kadlenarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ruthless hedgehog.

Kadlenarp created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadlenarp, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kadlenarp, it will turn you into a snail.

Kadlenarp's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kadlenarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.