Quagxinven is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, able slug.

Quagxinven created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagxinven, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagxinven, he will send minions to preach to you.

Quagxinven's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Quagxinven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quagxinven's name in vain.

2. Quagxinven loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quagxinven.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

5. Put Quagxinven first in all things.