Omtganlarn Zakbongig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, conceited turtle.

Omtganlarn Zakbongig created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtganlarn Zakbongig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Omtganlarn Zakbongig, he will throw large rocks at you.

Omtganlarn Zakbongig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Omtganlarn Zakbongig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect seven lead sculptures of Omtganlarn Zakbongig on top of important buildings.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look at planets.