Bonkquafbot is a god.
He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured
beaver.
Bonkquafbot created gold two trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Bonkquafbot, he will grant you five wishes.
If you do not believe in
Bonkquafbot, he will ignore you.
Bonkquafbot's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.
Bonkquafbot's Holy Commandments1. Always take life seriously.
2. Never feed lots of apples to aardvarks while wearing indigo trousers.
3. Always pray immersed in water.
4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.
5. Never talk about fire.