Gandogben is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited newt.

Gandogben created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gandogben, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gandogben, it will turn you into a slug.

Gandogben's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Gandogben's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Run away if six dolphins approach from the south.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.