Gomcimwab is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful beaver.

Gomcimwab created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Gomcimwab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gomcimwab, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gomcimwab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gomcimwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not hurt dogs.