Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, competent raccoon.

Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak's Holy Commandments

1. Bembessdam Wonlinvinbonkfedhunrak loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Never feed garlic to gulls while wearing purple boots.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never run near aardvarks.