Saspodhan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered gorilla.

Saspodhan created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saspodhan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Saspodhan, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Saspodhan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Saspodhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick birds.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always treat snakes with great respect.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.