Padtomyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical raccoon.

Padtomyarl created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padtomyarl, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Padtomyarl, it will strike you with lightening.

Padtomyarl's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Padtomyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Always help gulls in need.

3. Never wear yellow kilts.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.