Ciparfmut is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, uncaring newt.

Ciparfmut created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ciparfmut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ciparfmut, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ciparfmut's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Ciparfmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.