Boss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witty bear.

Boss created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Boss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Boss, he will think nothing of it.

Boss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Boss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always treat sheep with great respect.

3. Never feed apples to squirrels while wearing hats.

4. Retreat if three snails approach from the east.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Boss.