Arpponrat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil dog.

Arpponrat created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpponrat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arpponrat, it will jump up and down on your head.

Arpponrat's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Arpponrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not eat rice.