Xinmonfem is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unjust gorilla.

Xinmonfem created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinmonfem, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xinmonfem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xinmonfem's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Xinmonfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Xinmonfem's priests.

2. Never eat corn.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xinmonfem.

5. Never talk about fire.