Quartwothotcan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental badger.

Quartwothotcan created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartwothotcan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quartwothotcan, she will make you grow a tail.

Quartwothotcan's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Quartwothotcan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Quartwothotcan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.