Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon is a god.

It takes the form of a small, clever crab.

Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Retreat if five otters approach from the east.

5. Rathamarmhascanjopdubfon loves whales, so they must be honoured.