Mitcarnell is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witless meerkat.

Mitcarnell created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitcarnell, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mitcarnell, she will think nothing of it.

Mitcarnell's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Mitcarnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.