Methaskinhabjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unjust faun.

Methaskinhabjarn created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Methaskinhabjarn, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Methaskinhabjarn, he will turn you into a dog.

Methaskinhabjarn's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Methaskinhabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Erect five tin sculptures of Methaskinhabjarn on top of important buildings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never leap in holy places.