Gemwitgon is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, compassionate walrus.

Gemwitgon created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemwitgon, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gemwitgon, she will destroy your home solar system.

Gemwitgon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gemwitgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never feed wheat to dolphins while wearing tights.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gemwitgon.