Nurlmiscud is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, uncaring hamster.

Nurlmiscud created the Virgo Supercluster four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlmiscud, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nurlmiscud, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurlmiscud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nurlmiscud's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nurlmiscud.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Worship no other gods but Nurlmiscud.

5. Never jump in holy places.