Ganjadtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful manatee.

Ganjadtonk created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganjadtonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ganjadtonk, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ganjadtonk's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Ganjadtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.
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