Fagpaswee is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous crow.

Fagpaswee created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagpaswee, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fagpaswee, he will torture you forever.

Fagpaswee's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fagpaswee's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow boots.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Fagpaswee loves badgers, so they must be respected.

5. Never hurt moths.