Himgumxen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humane turtle.

Himgumxen created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Himgumxen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Himgumxen, she will curse you with boils.

Himgumxen's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Himgumxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Never wear violet rings.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not eat peanuts.