Sakwonloop is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate salamander.

Sakwonloop created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakwonloop, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakwonloop, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sakwonloop's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sakwonloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.