Vedmabgem Habbudhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental bee.

Vedmabgem Habbudhiv created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedmabgem Habbudhiv, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vedmabgem Habbudhiv, he will curse you with boils.

Vedmabgem Habbudhiv's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Vedmabgem Habbudhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never talk about archaea.