Sinlamhakarmsismegpogvab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing raccoon.

Sinlamhakarmsismegpogvab created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinlamhakarmsismegpogvab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sinlamhakarmsismegpogvab, it will turn you into a plant.

Sinlamhakarmsismegpogvab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Sinlamhakarmsismegpogvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick foxes.

2. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the east.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat bark.