Bestweebat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic goat.

Bestweebat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestweebat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bestweebat, she will turn you into a mole.

Bestweebat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bestweebat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never paint your head black.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing violet scarves and balancing five silicon spheres on your hands.