Bidvengeb is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, able frog.

Bidvengeb created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidvengeb, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bidvengeb, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bidvengeb's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bidvengeb's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight bats approach from the north.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never feed cucumbers to geese while wearing dresses.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near sharks while wearing green ear rings and balancing three tin spheres on your arms.

5. Erect nine gold sculptures of Bidvengeb on top of important buildings.