Artflamvil is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring whale.

Artflamvil created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Artflamvil, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Artflamvil, she will turn you into a worm.

Artflamvil's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Artflamvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Never feed lots of spinach to tortoises while wearing blue coats.