Dobfodlun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-confident spider.

Dobfodlun created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobfodlun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dobfodlun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dobfodlun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dobfodlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect four platinum sculptures of Dobfodlun on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Never talk about gravity near monkeys while wearing violet kilts.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.