Tomviddut is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless gerbil.

Tomviddut created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomviddut, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tomviddut, she will be very sad.

Tomviddut's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tomviddut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to hamsters while wearing magenta hats.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tomviddut.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near doves while wearing green coats and balancing eight titanium spheres on your chest.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.