Cetjopfen is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sage frog.

Cetjopfen created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetjopfen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cetjopfen, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cetjopfen's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cetjopfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing gray coats and balancing nine gold spheres on your back.

5. Never eat bark.