Vabquattonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome fox.

Vabquattonk created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabquattonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vabquattonk, she will turn you into a worm.

Vabquattonk's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vabquattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five turtles approach from the west.

2. Never wear white stockings.

3. Hide from black aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never feed lots of limes to whales while wearing brown kilts.