Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient monkey.

Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near mice while wearing orange kilts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Put Dogdanrutt Cinhotmot first in all things.