Basshotcad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, effective faun.

Basshotcad created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Basshotcad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Basshotcad, she will be very sad.

Basshotcad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Basshotcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed lots of oranges to doves while wearing magenta hats.