Zimvabgeplab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered seal.

Zimvabgeplab created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimvabgeplab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zimvabgeplab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zimvabgeplab's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Zimvabgeplab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zimvabgeplab's priests.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. You must pray to Zimvabgeplab seven times a day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zimvabgeplab.

5. Never play with disobedient children.