Cadcaplagrillmutkar is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, irritating snail.

Cadcaplagrillmutkar created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadcaplagrillmutkar, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cadcaplagrillmutkar, he will turn you into a worm.

Cadcaplagrillmutkar's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cadcaplagrillmutkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cadcaplagrillmutkar's priests.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Always help grasshopers.