Nurlbimgubdabfitsid is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, witless armadillo.

Nurlbimgubdabfitsid created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbimgubdabfitsid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlbimgubdabfitsid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nurlbimgubdabfitsid's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nurlbimgubdabfitsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Nurlbimgubdabfitsid loves birds, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.