Pigtimtarg Madwodcat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil gerbil.

Pigtimtarg Madwodcat created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigtimtarg Madwodcat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pigtimtarg Madwodcat, he will not invite you to parties.

Pigtimtarg Madwodcat's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Pigtimtarg Madwodcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about shrews.

2. Hide from fawn cats for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Pigtimtarg Madwodcat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pigtimtarg Madwodcat loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.