Timcipflis is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful
bear.
Timcipflis created humankind three trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Timcipflis, he will visit you to thank you.
If you do not believe in
Timcipflis, he will turn you into a goat.
Timcipflis' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.
Timcipflis' Holy Commandments1. Never think about bacteria.
2. You must pray to Timcipflis six times a day.
3. Worship no other gods but Timcipflis.
4. Do not covet oxen.
5. Always wear gray.